Last Year's Winner: Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread Potato Chips

I think we can all agree that Lay's dropped the ball on this year's Do Me a Flavor Contest. I mean, Cappuccino? Really? And the bacon mac n' cheese didn't taste like bacon at all, just smokiness. The mango salsa variety was far too harsh (from what I've heard). 

Their only saving grace was the Wasabi Ginger, a sweet and spicy combo that was really enhanced by the crunchy kettle chip. 

But is Wasabi Ginger, our predicted winner chip of 2014, better than last year's winner? Could it even come close?

Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread Chip

The Do Me a Flavor Contest of 2013 was really on its game. Though the Runner-Up may not have been a fan favorite (Chicken and Waffles, in case you've blocked that from your memory), the ultimate winner has been on shelves ever since it was crowned Best New Flavor and seems to be doing pretty well! We had to see what the fuss was about.

Cheesy Garlic Bread flavored chips just make sense. It's a crispy carb that takes well to cheese (and since when is garlic not cheese's bestie?). This chip is just a smaller, thinner, crispier version of the Italian table staple, and it really does taste exactly as advertised.

Maybe that's because it actually has real ingredients in it. Like, you know, garlic and cheese. LOTS of cheese. Cheddar, Swiss, Monterey Jack, even Gouda found its way into the recipe. And you can definitely tell; it REALLY has a cheesy flavor, and the mix of different kinds was a good idea. Cheddar on its own would be too Mac N' Cheesy (and they didn't want to go down that route again), all Gouda wouldn't taste like Garlic Bread at all, etc.

And the garlic? Let's just say you shouldn't go on a first date after this. Or speak to someone less than 10 feet away.

Now, is it better than Wasabi Ginger? I'm not quite sure. I think in a head-to-head it might be pretty close, but I'm glad it didn't come to that. The world needs both of these flavors as a permanent option.

Rating: 8. Cheesy Garlic Bread shows them how it's done. 

Bad Marketing, Good Chip: Calavo Guacamole Tortilla Chips

Some of the world's greatest discoveries and inventions have come about accidentally. Penicillin. Velcro. Microwaves. 'Merica. 

And though I am hesitant to admit it, I believe Calavo has stumbled upon a genius new style of chip eating. They just don't know it yet.  

Calavo Guacamole Tortilla Chips

If you've read anything on this blog, you should know my hatred for guacamole chips by now. They never actually taste like guac, they're strangely cheesy, and I consider them to be a lazy alternative to something that I hold near and dear to my heart. 

So when BH pulled out these Calavo Guac Chips today, I was less than thrilled. 

Don't close your browser just yet! This is not going to be a heavy rant on how bad these chips are. Rather, I tasted these with an open and unbiased mind. And they were actually pretty good!

Salty (maybe a little too much). The zing of lime juice with the flavor of garlic powder sprinkled all over the chips. Maybe a strange, but welcome, dash of cheddar cheese.

All in all, a really good chip. Just not a GUAC chip. This tastes nothing like avocado. At all. Like, if you were to close your eyes and eat this and then list 100 things you thought it tasted like, filet mignon would be on that list before avocado.

However, this chip would be an excellent addition to a bowl of naked mashed avocado. It does not taste like guacamole all on its own, but rather like guacamole flavorings. 

So! If this was marketed as a sort of "Make Your Own Guac n' Dip Kit," I would love it. Why don't they do that? Seriously, Calavo, get on your game.

 Oo! And these would be excellent as nacho chips. Cover these bad boys with cheese, sour cream, beans and real guac and I'm a very happy camper.

Rating as Advertised: 2. 
Rating as a Guac Kit: 8. Yummy!!

Lay's Flavor Contest: Cappuccino

There's a reason Starbucks has taken over the world: People love coffee. Hot or iced, flavored or black, whipped into a milkshake-like concoction or simply topped with a dollop of whipped cream, coffee has so many varieties, it is sure to satisfy everyone. 

I used to eat a grande Java-chip Frappucino every single day my senior year of high school. 

Yum, 460 calories of delicious future regret.

So when Lay's marketers saw Chad Scott's suggestion for a Cappuccino-flavored potato chip, they were pretty damn excited. "Everyone loves coffee!" they shouted with glee. "This marketing campaign is going to be a cinch!" And they were right. 

But for all the wrong reasons. 

Lay's Cappuccino Flavored Chips by Chad Scott

I feel bad for Lay's cooks. They probably knew all along that crunchy potato chip and bitter, hot beverage were not going to be a good combination.

"It'll be fantastic!" the executives cried. "Just do it!"

And so they did. And they probably tried really hard, poor things. They put in cinnamon, and brown sugar, and "natural coffee flavor." They omitted most of the salt because, ew. And when the executives packed it all up in bags and smiled as they walked away, the cooks probably just had a group hug and said, "We did our best, gentlemen. We did our best."

Well, I'm sorry, Lay's. But your best is just not good enough.

These chips taste like the vomit of used coffee grinds on thin cardboard. Chewing your coffee when chocolate chips are not involved had never been on anyone's mind, and as well it shouldn't have been. The lack of salt is also disconcerting; the chip tastes naked. Bland and yet bitter. Crispy but you wouldn't know it because you spit it out after the abomination graced your tongue.

I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm really not. I could not eat more than one of these, and even then I was in pain.

Now, some people liked it. I don't know what they were given to eat as children that makes this a step up, but I think they need some therapy.

The fact is, Lay's execs are terrible people. And I think even they knew this would fail, but planned on using the allure of "Oh, they can't be THAT bad" to increase sales.

Please, don't reward Lay's. DO NOT BUY THESE CHIPS. 

And if you ever see a Lay's cook, please give him a hug and tell him it's not his fault. It's not his fault.

My Personal Rating: 0. 
The General Rating: 1. And in giving that rating, 

Lay's Flavor Contest: Wasabi Ginger

After the strangeness that was last week's Mango Salsa flavored Lay's chip, there were some who were skeptical of this Tuesday's offering. But once they took a taste, their fears turned to admiration and votes for this Japanese-inspired flavor:

Lay's Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger by Meneko Spigner McBeth

What a perfect combination of flavors, wasabi and ginger. The heat of the wasabi and the very specific sweetness that accompanies ginger just complement each other so well, and Lay's has really captured that flavor experience here. 

Beginning with the not-too-sweet ginger, the very crunchy chip ends with that wasabi kick (though, again, Lay's didn't shell out the cash for the real stuff. I'll let that one slide for now). The aforementioned crunchiness is a pleasantly new texture to carry these flavors that are usually atop soft rice and raw fish. 

And, of course, you can never go wrong with adding another taste profile (salty!) to the equation, making the entire chip very well-rounded without being overwhelming. 

General consensus: Freaking delicious, and it deserves to win the entire contest. 

There were some nay-sayers, and they are entitled to their opinion, however wrong it may be. 

Rating: 9. Seriously good stuff. Tell Lay's it should win.  

Lay's Flavor Contest: Mango Salsa

It's back! The Lay's Flavor Contest is back in action and this year we have some very interesting contestants to taste. It's doubtful that any of these strange flavors will stay on the shelves for long, even if they are the Grand Prize Winner, so pick up a bag today if you want to put in your vote. 

Today's flavor contestant is...

Wavy Mango Salsa Flavored Chips: By Julia Stanley-Metz

The whole "sweet and salty" thing is taking over the world right now, and this definitely fits.

Now, I have to sneak in a disclaimer here: I did not taste these chips. And I may be a bit biased against them because they would probably kill me, considering I'm allergic to mango (and kiwi, case you're wondering). The one time I'm hoping everything is artificially flavored and Lay's finally comes through with using real ingredients. Darn you, Lay's.

However, there were enough reactions to this offering (my favorite: "WOW!....that's weird.") that I believe I can piece together what these taste like and whether or not they'll be the winner.

(Spoiler alert: They totally won't be.)

The mango flavoring is apparently so overpowering that it tastes like a salted mango. Which sounds kinda gross, to be honest. But it has the wavy thing going for it, making it a heartier chip. I imagine if you were to dip this into some nice guacamole or cream-based dip it might be a good mouthful, or it could backfire and you'll be faced with a senses overload instead of a nice balance.

Suggestions from the peanut gallery: Put this flavor on a tortilla chip. Wouldn't that make more sense?

Generally, people don't like it. Which makes me think, if this beat out thousands of other entries, wouldn't you think it'd be at least somewhat tasty? At least not off-putting? You can do better than this, Lay's.
Or can you?
Guess we'll find out when we try the other flavors in the contest! Stay tuned.

Rating: Public rating: 1. My personal rating: -1. It's so bad, it could kill me.

It must be magic: Zapp's Voodoo Chips

I have no witty introductions this time. Honestly, I just want to start talking about how great this chip is.

A cousin to Zapp's other New Orleans' specialties, the Voodoo Chips have quite an interesting pattern on the bag.

Zapp's New Orleans Kettle Style VOODOO Chips

I haven't seen so many voodoo dolls since three of my friends all got dumped in the same week back in high school. But they add to the mystique of the chips, and certainly do catch the eye. Maybe you need some help first picking up a bag, but later, you'll need help putting it down.

Intentional or not, I taste two different kinds of chips in this. I like to think it's intentional (a sort of "hocus pocus" type of thing) and not that my taste buds are untrustworthy. The initial taste is rather vinegary, awakening the palate, if you will. But then you start to think, "Wait, this tastes like barbeque, too."

Salt & Vinegar to BBQ with the sweet constant of Kettle flavorings. A tasty transformation sans the witch's cauldron.

If I had to say a negative, it would probably be the greasy factor, which is a tad high. Otherwise, a great snack for when you just can't decide which chip type you wanna munch on today.

Rating: 8. Zapp's knows what they're doing when it comes to Orleans' style chips!

Saya Snow Pea Crisps, With a Secret Ingredient...

I watch a lot of Food Network. Like, a lot. On any given night, it's either Food Network, Travel Channel (because Man vs. Food or Bizarre Foods is on), or Keeping Up With the Kardashians (I love to hate them). And though Good Eats (remember when Alton Brown wasn't a total jerk?) will always hold a special place in my heart, Iron Chef has wiggled its way in, too. 

The chef-testants use the secret ingredients (anything from milk to goji berries to lobster) in such creative ways, making absolutely mouth-watering entrees and desserts while I sit at home eating leftover mac n' cheese. 

It seems the people over at Saya snack company gave their cooks a secret ingredient, too. And they put it into this:

Saya Snow Pea Crisps (A whopping 170g of them!)

Snow Pea Crisps. Baked snow peas, though they no longer look at all like snow peas. Or feel like snow peas. Or, frankly, taste like snow peas. Their taste and texture is very similar to Veggie Straws, though they crumble a bit more in the mouth, which isn't exactly unpleasant, but I wouldn't put it in the press release.

They could do with a bit more salt, as well. It seems to be really all or nothing here at the Studio; either we're drowning in the Dead Sea or in bland land. I got one tiny grain of salt on my Crisp and it did elevate my experience, slightly. But generally the snack is...blah. Kinda like unbuttered popcorn. You'll eat it because you're bored. 

And the secret ingredient? There is tunafish extract in this. I'm not kidding. Why? I have no clue. You don't taste it. It doesn't add protein or anything useful (like salinity). It just pushes vegan clientele away. 

Rating: 3. Totally not worth the calories or dead fish, but they're there when you're bored.