Sit down. We need to talk.
I'm not angry, but I am disappointed in you, America. You can do much better than this. You're just not trying hard enough; your heart just doesn't seem to be in it anymore. What happened? Where did we, as loyal consumers, fail you that you thought this mediocre product would be acceptable? Would even, dare I say, be enjoyable?
You know what I'm talking about, America.
No?
Please, don't play games with me.
You do know what I'm referring to. Don't talk back to me!
What was that? Don't mumble, now.
"You tried your best."
You know, I wish I could believe you. But I have more faith in you than that, America.
You can certainly do better than this:
(sigh) On the Border Guac Blast Tortilla Chips (::shakes head::)
A for Effort, I suppose. They're green, so that's something. But they taste like Doritos. That's it. And Doritos taste like nacho cheese. That's what they're supposed to taste like. We expect that when picking up an orange bag. But America, have you ever even made guacamole before? Ever smelled it? Tasted it? Because there is no nacho cheese in it.
None. Zip. Nada.
I would say dry your eyes and get back on that horse, America, but perhaps it's time to put the whole "guacamole-flavored chips" a rest. Find a new hobby! Like, pottery making. Or basket weaving.
Rating: ...Let's just move on, shall we?
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